By Faith Eckley
For my Gender and Diversity class, I was asked to answer the following questions: How do you describe your own gender expression? Has it shifted over the course of your life?
Here is how I responded…
From the time I could start expressing myself, I have embraced girlhood with open arms. From a young age I have always felt connected to my gender and have always basked in the glow of the blissful moments of my girlhood from sitting around the dinner table with my grandmother, aunts, cousin, and my mom. To sleepovers with my childhood best friends who, in the safe haven of my childhood bedroom, were allowed to share snacks, our deepest thoughts, and laughs so intense that tears would roll out of our eyes. Not to mention shopping sprees where my friends and I would float around the mall, in and out of the stores praying for the day when we will finally have the coolest styles. All of these moments consist of the peace that comes from enjoying the bond between women.
Aside from expressing my gender identity from connecting with other women, I have always expressed myself individually through things that are traditionally seen as “girly”. I love the color pink, getting dressed up in a dress and heels, curling my hair, decorating my room, and putting together outfits that make me feel fashionable. There was more of an innocence during my girlhood that casted a shadow, preventing and protecting me from not fully understanding what being a girl truly means.
As I am coming into womanhood, I am gaining a deeper understanding and experience of the gender roles, stereotypes, and expectations that are put onto us women by society. When I was first exposed to society’s viewpoint on women, I was confused why men think that they can make inappropriate comments towards young girls. Why society tries to convince us that our bodies are not good enough, why we feel the need to compete against one another, why we cannot walk alone at night, why we are considered a “bitch” when not smiling 24/7, why we have to choose between a family and a career, why women are expected to do everything for their children while fathers are praised for doing the bare minimum, why men are violent towards us, why we inherently fear men, and why men, aged young and old, can vote about decisions concerning what we can do with our own bodies? These things have baffled me, they have hurt me, they have offended me, and they have angered me.
These experiences only skim the surface of the challenges that women face. Everyday women are oppressed through sexual and physical violence, unequal pay, and objectification, especially for women of color, women with a low economic status, and women in other parts of the world.
Through education and observation, I have learned that these things occur because sexism has always been ingrained in our society and our society’s systems. For years women have faced oppression because gender roles were originally created to make a functioning society necessary for survival, but now that time has passed, we no longer need men to go out and hunt while the women stay back to nurture and keep the home running, but unfortunately these values in some form, still exist today. Some men and even some women see men as superior and more capable beings while women are below them and unable to be more than what society has labeled us as.
Although I am still navigating this reality, womanhood still allows the best moments of girlhood to shine through in the late night talks with my roommate, driving around town blasting music with Starbucks, doing face masks while reading, and nights out in the city with my college best friends dressed in cute outfits and sparkly eyeshadow, not for anyone other than ourselves and each other.
There are layers to being a woman that are not always seen on the surface. I remind myself that while there are now some obstacles in the way, I can still express myself traditionally and love the wonderful big and small moments of being a woman while holding onto the hope that our society is shifting towards a better future for women across the world.
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